The Greatest Invention on Earth!

Do you know what the greatest invention on Earth is? No, it’s not sliced bread. Not computers or the internet. And no….. it’s not the iPad (seriously…). This little idea changed our world forever….

What makes this discovery so great, is that it can neither be credited with nor blamed for any of the actions it provokes or the consequences that follow. It is the single most important factor that led to the downfall of many an empire. It gives it’s user immeasurable power over a man. Power so absolute that it leaves it’s user giddy and usually power-mad and inconsolable after not being able to use it anymore.

Over the ages many a poet and writer has attempted to explain it’s awesome power through fables, long winded lore and story. Using similes and such, to shelter the masses from it’s corrupting influence (ala. Lord of the Rings)

So what is this stupendous creation you ask?

The Skirt…

Not for your motor vehicles, not for any mechanical device but the silly fashion trend we all dismiss so easily, the skirt.

So ingenious is this contraption that we’ve seen it mentioned throughout the history of mankind. It’s survival (and popularity) is aided by it’s chameleon-like ability to re-appear in new (adaptable) forms. From minis, to pencil skirts. From, cut-just-above-the-knee to a tight, below-the-knee-cut that better defines a woman’s calf muscles and her posterior.

Women, having realised the power of the skirt early on, have used this garment in conjunction with their pheromones to lure, trap and change men to become malleable, agreeable and domestic.

This may all sound like hokum to you now, but new data suggests that the sudden re-emergence of this garment in our time, especially in popular media. Is a cleverly implemented plan, by the fairer sex, to…(wait for it)…. take over…the world!



I know this is all a bit much to digest. Here you were thinking “Aw, she really made an effort to look nice today” or “Thank the Lord for skirts”… Wake up and smell the starch!

All I have to say is, Steve Jobs and Apple ain’t got nothin’ on this.

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